Trying to secure a home is no joke. And the waiting in limbo is becoming unbearable. I am so ready to take that step, into a space that is all ours, where we can jump, shout, laugh and cry. One day I think we’re nearly there, and the next day another problem comes up and I’m back on the phone, biting my nails and trying to sort it out.
The beach helps me stay calm. I can lose my head in the waves, in rock-clambering, pebble-plopping or just dancing around on the sand. The tides and the weather have been a bit crazy lately. We were building a sand-train with limpet shell wheels, when the sea suddenly washed all the way up and over our feet. While sauntering back, there was a huge thunderclap and we had to sprint the rest of the journey, buggy cover on, head down against the hail.
Back inside, shedding ice balls in the kitchen of the beautiful cottage we are house-sitting, I took refuge in a cup of Pukka herbal tea. I love Pukka tea, partly for its fairy-based packaging. Sipping it transforms stressed-me into fairy-me, lighter than air, and worry-free. Even in recent times of great austerity, the fairy tea boxes seemed to flit unaided into my shopping basket, otherwise filled with beans, rice, fish fingers and nappies. In fact I got a free bag and mug because I bought so much tea, and I get regular emails from Pukka. That’s how I found out about the beautiful world competition.
For this competition, you have to upload an image or video of your ‘beautiful world’. I’m not sure what happens if I win, I think it’s a weekend in a treehouse somewhere but whatever, it’s just nice spending time on their website rather than worrying about where we are going to live. I didn’t have time to prepare something specially, and when the toddler was asleep I grabbed my camera and selected the last video clip, which was him jumping around on the beach in the wind.
Four hours later I was about to throw the camera and computer across the room in frustration at not having managed to upload the clip, and went to bed. But once-upon-a-time I filmed, edited and sent films for broadcast from across the globe, so I couldn’t let it lie. Eventually my video was uploaded, shrunk to a size where it didn’t crash Pukka-land and sent off into the ether.
Today was another day punctuated by lots of difficult phone calls and emails, so for light relief I revisited my handiwork. What I’ve captured is actually not just him jumping around in his waterproof suit, puffing in the wind like a balloon. It’s him noticing his footprints in the sand for the first time. And it feels to me like watching man walk on the moon.
Strangely, I feel I am taking these giant leaps in consciousness for the first time too. We are two sets of footprints in the sand, embracing life and dancing off as the tide rushes over them. I am following in his footsteps as much as he is following in mine. I’m looking at my path, where I’ve been, where we’re going, and I’m determined that we will soon have a home of our own to orbit our dancing footprints around.